Signs That I May Have Been Unemployed for Too Long

1. I've find myself thinking that I should embroider me, Hope and Brian's names onto napkins, each in colors appropriate to our personalities.

2. Days of the week have no meaning to me. I find myself wondering, why are people working today?? It's Wednesday, for God's sake.

2a. Oh, wait, it's Monday. My bad.

3. Three bottles of wine seems like a decent amount for four people to drink with their dinner. On Monday.

4. How people have any money whatsoever is an absolute mystery,

5. A stranger starts a conversation on the street, and I am completely unable to string words together into a sentence.

6. Our freezer is full of soups, each recipe having required several hours' preparation. Somehow, the day that we find ourselves in need of a quick, no-prep dinner never comes.

7. Planning a trip to the desert for my birthday, I momentarily have trouble understanding why Wednesday is a difficult day for people to make a ten hour drive.

8. This has nothing to do with the list, but there's a meteor shower the night before my birthday this year. Y'all should totally check it out.