They hate me here. Really. It's pathetic. Having a job one hates is so much more preferable to having a job one hates, and is sucky at.



I actually was good at this when I started. I got compliments galore on my efficiency, my competence. But then I had the bright idea to go back to school. And work suffered (how could it not?) in spite of my attempts to keep my studentude out of the workplace.



And now, everythings a mess. And that familiar chorus has started to echo in my head, with every mistake made, with every overdue project tackled: but I don't even want to be here.



Am I applying to grad school because I want to go there, or just because I want to go?